Saturday, October 2, 2010
sixteen.
I am really struggling at the moment.
My life is circling the drain. I can't get myself out of this rut.
I have cried every day for the past week. Excessively. I didn't think my body had so many tears.
I started a new blog under a different name to document my current situation. I won't post it here yet. Maybe in a few months. All I know as this is killing me. I don't know who to turn to, I can't talk about it with anyone. I just end up in my bed with heaving sobs. My stomach is constantly in my throat...I just want to puke from confusion and emotion. I don't even know what emotions I'm feeling. Loss, maybe? I don't know, I just hope I figure it out soon before I lose it.
I'm contemplating submitting some photography to a friends art competition. My only problem is, all my favourites are either grainy from my phones camera (yeah, my best ideas are when my camera is mia), not following the general rules of photography OR are 'private'. Do I submit a photo of my 'Y', even though you can tell it's me by the tattoo?
So, I have been declined prospective jobs so many times of late I'm considering just giving up and becoming a drifter. I'll fruit pick and can-collect my way to world domination. I'll start smoking pot and living out of my rainbow-coloured van. You just watch.
ScarXo
My life is circling the drain. I can't get myself out of this rut.
I have cried every day for the past week. Excessively. I didn't think my body had so many tears.
I started a new blog under a different name to document my current situation. I won't post it here yet. Maybe in a few months. All I know as this is killing me. I don't know who to turn to, I can't talk about it with anyone. I just end up in my bed with heaving sobs. My stomach is constantly in my throat...I just want to puke from confusion and emotion. I don't even know what emotions I'm feeling. Loss, maybe? I don't know, I just hope I figure it out soon before I lose it.
I'm contemplating submitting some photography to a friends art competition. My only problem is, all my favourites are either grainy from my phones camera (yeah, my best ideas are when my camera is mia), not following the general rules of photography OR are 'private'. Do I submit a photo of my 'Y', even though you can tell it's me by the tattoo?
So, I have been declined prospective jobs so many times of late I'm considering just giving up and becoming a drifter. I'll fruit pick and can-collect my way to world domination. I'll start smoking pot and living out of my rainbow-coloured van. You just watch.
ScarXo
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